I’ve been writing some heavy posts lately, and since we’re all consuming so much exhausting and deflating news, I want to focus on something lighter and more practical this week.
I started Mockingbird Learning a little over a year ago. Time management and organization have always been strengths for me, and I wanted to really examine how I do things, what I could improve in my life, and how I could help other people (specifically women) improve theirs too.
I started to look at how I was spending my time in relation to societal expectations, especially gender norms, and how my husband spent his time for comparison. I researched broader trends among women and men, and I compared those to my own experience.
For context, I work from home around 40 hour per week (sometimes more) and my husband also works full-time, both Monday through Friday. We have a 4-year-old and an 18-month-old who are in daycare while we work. This means we’re both home every morning and evening, which makes equitably dividing chores and sharing the mental load more straightforward.
I consider my “free time” to be whenever I’m not working and our kids are asleep. This is basically 30-45 minutes in the morning plus 2-3 hours in the evening. They’re both in bed by 7:00 (yes, it’s amazing), and I’m in bed by 9:30. During the week, I can work full-time, have a few hours of family time, get 8+ hours of sleep, and still have 3 hours of free time every day. There are some days when I have to wrap up work after putting the kids to bed, but I try to avoid that if at all possible.
Here’s What Happened
About a year ago, I made a very conscious, intentional decision to prioritize myself during my free time. First, I figured out what I actually enjoy spending my time on, which I had not thought enough about until then. Next, I focused on maximizing my free time to do more of those things. I decided that for me, running errands and random shopping trips were not really enjoyable. I was mostly calling those things “me time” out of habit and societal influences.
Here’s what happened when I got clear on my priorities and focused on spending my free time on the things I really wanted to do.
More Free Time
The best motivator for improving your time management is having something specific you want to do with it. I wasted less time and became more efficient when I was clear on what else I wanted to be doing. I also stopped putting everything off until after my kids went to bed. Now, I get them to “help” with things around the house and do most chores while they’re awake. Even if things take a little longer, it teaches them there isn’t a magical cleaning fairy that visits every night while they’re sleeping, and it freed up my evenings to actually relax.
Most Things Still Get Done
Either things get done or they probably didn’t need to be done in the first place. Getting clear on my values and priorities means I can accomplish what I need to, but I can also let go of the rest without feeling guilty. For things I didn’t do, I started to accept that they just weren’t a priority, or else I would have done them. And that’s fine.
Efficiency
We tend to do things a certain way for no other reason than because that’s the way we’ve always done it. When we moved into our house three years ago, we unpacked boxes and put things wherever it made sense in the moment. And for the most part, everything stayed where we put it, even if it wasn’t the best place for it after we had settled. But if you take the time to pause and look around, notice how you could improve things, and make even a few small changes, it can have a big impact.
Real Life Examples
Here are a few simple, but practical examples of things I changed that either make my life easier or give me more free time:
I only fold laundry while our oldest takes a bath. I wash a few loads of laundry and dry them, leave them in baskets, then run the dryer to get the wrinkles out of one load while folding the next. All during bathtime when I would otherwise not be doing anything. This saves me at least an hour or two every week.
We stocked up on cleaning products and put them in the kitchen and every bathroom in the house, so it’s easy to quickly clean without making an extra trip or putting it off.
We double up on frequently used items (toothpaste, ketchup, etc.), so when one runs out, we use the backup and add the item to our grocery list. We almost never have to make a special trip to the store because we ran out of something.
Each of our kids has a very small laundry basket in their room. It fills up quickly, which means we have to stay on top of laundry, and it doesn’t pile up (pun intended).
Make the Time
I didn’t make big changes. I made small changes that had a big impact. For the most part, I just had to commit to doing it and the rest followed naturally. That’s what Mockingbird Learning is all about. I’m here to help you identifying what would make your home life better, then commit to making those small changes that affect everything.
Here are some resources to get you started:
Atomic Habits by James Clear
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equality at Home by Kate Mangino
Download my free Mental Load Management Workbook
Check out my other free resources
The world is feeling especially heavy right now. Make some time for things that bring you joy.