What you have articulated here is exactly why the “mental load” can’t be solved at the couple-level alone. In my view, it’s not a behaviour gap but a systems gap. The shift from community-based living to atomised households has created a structural expectation that one person silently becomes the Chief Operating Officer of the family. So much invisible labour is actually inherited architecture and not individual choice and once you see that, it becomes impossible to unsee. Loved reading this.
Thank you! I completely agree. Our behaviors are very often just responses to our environment. And there is only so much we can do as individuals and couples when we're navigating a system that wasn't designed with everyone in mind.
Hi Kelsey,
What you have articulated here is exactly why the “mental load” can’t be solved at the couple-level alone. In my view, it’s not a behaviour gap but a systems gap. The shift from community-based living to atomised households has created a structural expectation that one person silently becomes the Chief Operating Officer of the family. So much invisible labour is actually inherited architecture and not individual choice and once you see that, it becomes impossible to unsee. Loved reading this.
Thank you! I completely agree. Our behaviors are very often just responses to our environment. And there is only so much we can do as individuals and couples when we're navigating a system that wasn't designed with everyone in mind.